The College of Haruspices will, on request, perform a personalised augury and return its findings to you in writing. You supply two things: the name under which the reading is to be recorded, and the matter you wish illuminated — a decision pending, a venture contemplated, a question that has sat with you longer than is comfortable. A common mouse is read on your behalf, and the liver is interpreted region by region in the established manner.
The reading is supplied as a single A4 PDF, formatted for printing and suitable for keeping. It bears an anatomical plate of the liver divided into six numbered regions, with the corresponding interpretation set against each. A twenty-pound administrative contribution applies, payable in Bitcoin. We are aware this is an inconvenience and we do not pretend otherwise; the College has held no British bank account since 2019, for reasons its former bankers have never set out in full, and Bitcoin remains the only arrangement available to us. Once the contribution is sighted upon the chain the reading is prepared and released for download, which ordinarily takes a few minutes.
The College makes no claims as to the accuracy of any reading and is not responsible for outcomes. The augury is recognised by no earthly authority whatsoever and confers no legal standing. What the entrails disclose, they disclose; the interpretation is offered in good faith and acted upon at your own discretion. IECUR AGNI VIAM MONSTRAT.
A Reading of the Common Mouse
1 BTC = £45,521 · updated 22:31 UTC
The College of Haruspices will consult the viscera of a Common Mouse upon a matter of your choosing, and prepare a written augury for your consideration. The College holds no British bank account and accepts contributions in Bitcoin alone. A reading is drawn for £20.
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